I used to believe that being assertive isn't being kind.
The reality is that you can both assert yourself and be kind.
5 proven tips to be more assertive (without being aggressive):
1/ Express Your Needs and Wants Clearly
Why: Being direct and honest about your needs helps others understand your perspective and enables them to respond appropriately. It demonstrates self-respect and confidence in your own opinions and feelings.
How: "I appreciate your input on this project, but I strongly believe we should take a different approach. Focusing on user experience will lead to better conversion. Can we discuss how we can incorporate both of our ideas?"
2/ Use "I" Statements to Communicate Your Perspective
Why: "I" statements help you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or making accusations. They create a non-confrontational atmosphere that encourages open dialogue and mutual understanding.
How: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this presentation, but I have some concerns about the accuracy of the data. I suggest we review the sources together and make any necessary updates to strengthen our case."
3/ Practice Active Listening and Seek to Understand Others
Why: Active listening demonstrates that you value others' perspectives and are willing to engage in a two-way conversation. It helps build trust and rapport, making it easier to find mutually beneficial outcomes.
How: "I hear your concerns about the proposed changes to our team structure. Can you tell me more about how these changes will impact your work? I want to ensure that we address any potential issues."
4/ Offer Solutions
Why: Offering solutions rather than simply stating problems demonstrates your willingness to work collaboratively and find mutually beneficial outcomes.
How: "I understand that you want to launch the new feature as soon as possible, but I have concerns about the current timeline. What if we break the launch into two phases? We can release the core functionality in the first phase and then add the additional enhancements in the second phase. This way, we can meet the initial deadline while ensuring the quality of the final product."
5/ Learn to Say "No" When Necessary
Why: Saying "no" to unreasonable requests or demands demonstrates self-respect and helps you maintain control over your time and resources. It also helps prevent burnout and enables you to focus on your priorities.
How: "I appreciate you considering me for this new project, but unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to take on additional work at the moment. I'm committed to delivering high-quality results on my current projects, and taking on more would compromise this. Can we revisit this opportunity in a few weeks when my workload is more manageable?"
PS: Assertiveness is a form of self-care that also nurtures healthy, respectful relationships with others.
