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From Omar's Desk: Never Split the Difference

2 min
From Omar's Desk  ✺  fromomarsdesk  ✺  negotiation  ✺  leadership  ✺  career

You don't get what you deserve.

You get what you negotiate.

8 tips to master negotiation (in life and career):

1/ Step into their shoes

↳ Why: People want to feel understood. Showing that you "get it" helps them trust you and opens the door for real collaboration.

↳ How: Use phrases like, “It sounds like you’re feeling…” or “I sense that you’re concerned about…”

2/ Use mirroring

↳ Why: People love talking to someone who really listens. Repeating their words back shows you’re paying attention and makes them open up more.

↳ How: If they say, “We’re worried about costs,” respond with, “Worried about costs?”

3/ Label emotions

↳ Why: Calling out emotions takes the heat out of tough conversations. It shows you’re on the same page and makes things less tense.

↳ How: Say, “It seems like you’re frustrated about the timeline.”

4/ Ask open-ended, calibrated questions

↳ Why: Asking the right questions turns the focus from problems to solutions. It helps you understand what’s really going on.

↳ How: Avoid “yes” or “no” questions. Instead, ask, “What would it take to make this deal work for both of us?”

5/ Accuse yourself

↳ Why: Being upfront about possible objections makes you relatable and keeps things honest. People respect that.

↳ How: Say, “You might think I’m being overly optimistic, but here’s why this approach could work.”

6/ Go for the "No"

↳ Why: Weirdly, hearing “no” can feel safer for the other person than saying “yes.” It also gives you room to explore real issues.

↳ How: Ask, “Would it be ridiculous to consider extending the deadline by a week?”

7/ Leverage silence

↳ Why: Silence makes people uncomfortable, so they tend to fill it with valuable insights. Use it to your advantage.

↳ How: Ask a question or make a point, then wait. Resist the urge to speak first.

8/ Avoid compromise

↳ Why: Splitting the difference might seem fair, but it usually means both sides lose something important. Aim higher.

↳ How: Focus on finding creative solutions that deliver value to both parties.

These strategies are inspired by Chris Voss’ "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" and brought to you by Omar’s Desk.

PS: Great negotiators listen more than they speak.

PPS: Negotiation is about authentic connection, not manipulation. The difference? Manipulation is self-serving; authenticity builds trust.

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